Rapport

[ampakine]

After learning about rapport, in retrospect I'm able to spot times when people that have intentionally built rapport with me by subtly mimicking my behaviors. The people who I suspect used it on me were: a hypnotist, 2 psychologists and a friend who is big into social engineering. I've observed the effect it has. Each time I develop a very positive view of the person and I fall under the assumption that they are a lot like me. Its hard to describe but its a very distinct phenomenon and easy to recognize once you've observed it a few times. By paying close attention I can spot my friend doing it to me, when I intentionally alter my behavior in a certain way I can see him subtly adapting to this new behavior I'm displaying.

[winter-owned]

What's really good is when people can do that without compromising sincerity. Mimicking is bad because in a group of people who know the person one of them is bound to find it insincere. Finding the things you do have in common with someone and highlighting it while downplaying your differences works wonders.

I'm pretty sociable and can establish good rapport with most people one on one. What's hard for me is group rapport. Say there are three people who I've started a good relationship with one on one. Put all three of them in a room with me and typically that rapport is weakened with at least one of them. It's hard to maintain rapport with members of a group when the people in the group are not very like each other. There may be nothing they have in common with each other.

I should work on that. I agree, when I get the feeling someone is "a lot like me", whether or not they are, I'm typically willing to help them out in their endeavors.