by burntout on Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:51 am
([msg=54691]see Have we effectively taught ourselves how to be antisocial?[/msg])
SE is a topic that has a significant amount of its roots in simple getting to know you chitchat. And because of that, I find myself wondering, how do people even get to know each other after being exposed to the topic? I don't know about the rest of you, but I no longer see things the same way I once did. Every time somebody asks me any sort of personally reflective question, I can't help but think of how it could possibly be related to The Big Five. And I either refuse to answer it, subvert answering it, or simply lie. No sort of relationship, or sense of community, can be built on that type of foundation.
I haven't always known about social engineering either, or what can be done with it, and certainly don't know it as well as I probably should. So I often find myself questioning just how much of myself I've actually exposed, and to whom. I'm quite positive, as I've already encountered many, that there are even people who know me better than I know myself. Some probably even pissing their pants in exuberance that I'm even writing this. Others, including family, wondering where my recently developed trust issues have stemmed from, when at any moment, any person I've said anything to, can use me as a weapon against me.
What's worse, is that I look at people like Johnny Long, Moxie Marlinspike, and RSnake, people that are considered famous, and pioneers in this industry, and don't understand how they can be so vocal and open about who they are, while I seem to be developing a deeply rooted social anxiety disorder.
Have I studied too little? Have I studied too much? What am I not understanding? Now that social engineering is such a threat to security, am I wrong to have this feeling that everybody could be, though most likely probably isn't, the enemy? Am I wrong to push them away because of what I've learned? Have I pushed them away to the point, that I'm now so alone, that I'm even alone in feeling this way? How do I go back to being me again? Is it just that I haven't managed to prove myself? Am I just burnt out? How do I stop seeing things this way? Will this all be perceived as a joke, when it's honestly ruining my life?
A shitload of stupid questions left spinning around in my head, but I won't ever know unless I ask.
Is there a place where old hackers go to die?