Just so you know, IMO GoDaddy is crap. They spend more money on boob jobs for Dannica Patrick then it does on maintaining servers (not that that's a bad thing, just it's not great when you have a website you need hosted).
I use HostMonster
. They allow SSH, but I don't think they let you install your own packages and extensions to apache, php, etc (though they do take requests and have excellent support). For the kind of control you want, mediatemple
is very expensive, but pretty much allows you to do whatever you like. FUN FACT: MediaTemple facilities are on the emergency fuel list for their backup generators so you can still access your website during a natural disaster. Seems kinda ridiculous to me, but it gives them a good reason to charge what they do.