Ninjex Has a Rant

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Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by -Ninjex- on Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:03 am
([msg=76841]see Ninjex Has a Rant[/msg])

First I should start of by a warm welcome, so hello to all of you!
Most of you here know me by now, at least what I portray myself as around here.

Everyday I wake up, I breathe the breath of life, from a world that I am very much dissatisfied in. Everyday I wake up and I attempt to give one hundred percent effort into everything I do, but for what? Here is a world, a damn beautiful world, filled with so many great things like love, technology, music, art, science, physics, etc. Yet, the totality of our existence is filled with such hate, greed, selfishness, desire, evil, lust, and we choose to use the world against each other to enhance those fields.
You have people on the streets that die everyday because they have nothing to eat or can't get to proper shelter. You have people who are literally scared to ask for help, because they are in fear of being shunned, and made fun of publicly. You have people that would suck every minute of life out of you and transfer it to their self, if they had the ability. You have people at war, blowing up cities, killing innocent people, even if it's accidental, etc. You have people that will turn to drugs to cope with life, because it feels as if it's their only alternative to their problems. The list goes on and on and on.

Now, let me get this point across, I have no problem with the people in the military. I myself would not mind joining the military, if I could. I understand that in this state of the world, it is important, and we have threats we must deal with. I have the up most respect to any military personnel. So, you might be wondering now, well that's a bit contradicting, isn't it? In a sense, I suppose you are correct, but I am looking at a much larger scale.
Thinking on this large scale, the constant questions that are going through my head usually are:
Do people have to starve?
Do people have to live on the streets?
Should people be scared to ask for help?
Could we create better alternatives for people that use illegal substances to cope with life?
Is it normal that 10 percent of the US population is depressed?
Is there an alternative we could turn to other than war, such as compromise?
Do we have to pollute the oxygen we breathe everyday?

Pondering upon these questions for so long seems to have turned me into a psychological wreck. The truth to the matter is, that with every flip there is a flop, and if the world had an algorithm there would be at least two statics, good and evil, and while the latter exists in such a large mass, the world would never come to an agreement to work together peacefully.

We have the technology and wisdom, to create a much healthier and safer environment, but why haven't we?
We still haven't made the switch to electric powered cars, nor promoted much use of hybrid powered vehicles. We continue to stick with oil, because of what reason? There aren't many pros v.s cons in this situation. The only pros I can really think of is that 1. They make a shit ton of money off of it. and 2. Almost everyone is still using oil powered vehicles. However, this should not be an excuse to dwell on oil powered vehicles. It's disgusting and is only hurting us as humans, and the planet. We should have better morals then that.
We literally have the technology to create a system, which could irrigate and distribute food out for free. All it takes is a cleverly designed system, which is not by any means impossible to create. So why don't we? Because we don't want to drive out all of the food businesses, and that tax money they bring in? Again, we should have better morals then that.
As everyone always says, safety first! So let's talk about it. In this world, clearly safety is not first, not even close. Yes we take some safety measures, but at the same time, we disregard this. One of the biggest items on the human fatality list is dying from vehicular related crashes. So what do we do, we add a seat belt and an airbag, and pray to whatever god you believe in, that you don't die. Well, ask yourself how much protection that would do if you get hit by a train going full speed, probably not much. Again, with cleverly designed systems this is all avoidable (almost any other vehicle related crashes). So what's stopping us here? A short and reasonable answer is money.
I could sit here and talk about endless things that I see is fucked up, and give you my ideas on how it could be fixed, but the truth of the matter is: It's irrelevant.

I just don't know what to expect from this world anymore, it basically only brings disgust to mind. I feel as if I may have psychological problems, but at the same time, if I didn't feel this way, would that be normal? Just forget about all the worlds problems, when we have the ability to fix them? I know I have made a few dumb decisions in my past, but I honestly believe this is the center of my issues. Ever since realizing all of this and thinking of it in depth about a year ago, I have never felt the same. I can't find the joy in anything I do anymore. I don't care to met new people, since most of the time they are either being ignorant, or trying to show off. I don't care much to have conversations with people in the general public, since most of the time it's propaganda or useless information. I feel as if my entire life, I have tried so hard to achieve simple goals, but they now feel pointless, and I feel undetermined to accomplish them . So I sit here now and wonder how to cope with all of this, before I go back to the old me.

To be honest, hackthissite and one or two other hacking communities is the only place I find time worth spending. I try my best to get along with everyone, and to help out as much as I can. Hell, I can't tell you how many hours I have spent in pm's or responding to messages, just to help people out here, even if it's the silly things I don't have time for, like teaching someone how to get around in the linux terminal. So yeah, basically this is what I have, hts, it's what keeps me going.
This is just a little rant of mine, to let people know how I truly feel, which is sort of breaking one of my set rules when using any hacker alias, but 'whatevs'.
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by pretentious on Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:24 am
([msg=76842]see Re: Ninjex Has a Rant[/msg])

When I was in my late teens, I thought i had depression. Never got formally diagnosed, guess i'll never know for sure. I spent several years of my life looking for an answer to finally be at peace with myself. The world is so fucked up. Beyond fucked up, and everyone is so god damn oblivious to it. What got me over my problems was simply a shift in my thinking. I became oblivious to it. Call me what you want but i'd rather be happy than be right. I once asked myself the question, could you be so smart that you realize it is in your best interest to make youself less smart? I'm don't quite ignore the shit that goes on, I reframe it. My philosophy is that there is no right or wrong, it is what it is. Everything is truely subjective. And there are contradictions to everything. The government is corrupt and you know what? I don't give a shit. I live by quotes and one that i have recently formulated in case i ever realapse so to speak is "You will never find meaning to life by searching for it and will never find fulfillment the same way. You can only find peace by knowing that you don't need either" That shit's kinda personal and i'm not sure if you will find anything for you, in it but i want to put it out there. These sorts of communities seem to attract troubled kids or at least cause some with the whole antisocial + antiauthority thing, which is why I left and came back as not a hacker but as a software engineer undergrad. Something else i think is interesting to add is that i havn't watched TV in like 2 or 3 years. I swear to god it's like 98% bullshit. I watch random shows occasionally just for a giggle :D and that's the man I am today. Stay tuned
Goatboy wrote:Oh, that's simple. All you need to do is dedicate many years of your life to studying security.

IF you feel like exchanging ASCII arrays, let me know ;)
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by lucky 0xD on Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:08 pm
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I also found that not watching TV helped immensely with my depression. I only watch comedy, good drama box sets and genuinely educational stuff which I mostly find online anyway so I can not watch advertisements. I've got no time for that other bullshit. Getting rid of shit like facebook helped too.

Ninjex: Its a strange thing man, I used to get like that. I've seen some nasty shit in my time, and it changes your outlook if you let it. You don't want to be apathetic, but there's no point torturing yourself about things over which you have no control. Just make your little bit of the world better by being a good dude when you can. I'm a Husband and a Dad and I try to make my little family's life as awesome as I can and basically not be the dick my own dad was. And the world as I see it is a much nicer place. I'm still a maudlin fuck sometimes though :D
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by 0phidian on Thu Aug 15, 2013 11:03 pm
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I feel the same way sometimes when I think about things too much. Sometimes I don't see the point in existing even if it was a perfect world. I'm not sure what keeps me going. Keeping myself occupied, coding and stuff, is how I generally am able to deal with my depression. I wish I had an answer. Anyways, I feel you.
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by black_sun on Sat Sep 07, 2013 5:32 pm
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I already can't keep all those things in me. Already I feel really bad about our government, laws and corruption. There are many people in the world who lost everything. I can not imagine it. Sometimes I can't believe what is happening in my country, but also in the world. Is it possible? Yes... Usually you can't trust anyone. Everyone wants be the best. Everyone will use you for themselves. Mostly. People do not have time for things they love. They do not have time for their families, children, hobbies. They are afraid of losing their job. Because they do not know what awaits them tomorrow. Life is like a bad dream. But it's life. Life without price and without value. People know it. They pretend that everything is great, but inside they know that it is not. I want to change this world full of corruption, hatred, anger... I'm trying.
I'm still young. I do not know a lot of things. On the one hand I want to be wise, and on the other hand I don't want to know. It's hard. My friends are having fun, go out, they are happy. I cannot. They do not understand me. I do not understand them. I thing I am a very weird person.
Never be afraid to say what you really feel.
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by DrRoach on Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:13 pm
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I used to feel like this and I got so bad that I just gave up on living and just stayed in my house for a good few months because I was fed up of seeing all of the shit in the world. I stopped watching the news and anything to do with the world and just wanted out. The turning point in my life was when the police knocked on my door (I had stopped going to school and so I was breaking the law) and I just went berserk at them telling them how it was my life and the sorts, but they told me that there were still good people in the world who try and do their part to make the earth a better place and I thought to myself that these people do actually care and they are actually trying to help. It took me a while but I have started to see that their are people in this world that aren't total jerks and they're the people that I try around, by no means is it easy to see the good things on this planet, but when you do see them you can't help but feel good.
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Re: Ninjex Has a Rant

Post by Name-already-taken on Mon Sep 23, 2013 1:38 pm
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I can relate with you all . Wars everywhere , corruption in the government , sexual crimes (creep creep) . I still get somewhat depressed sometimes , and it distracts me from my studies . I don't know what to do . For now , I rarely visit Facebook or watch serious TV shows , only comedy and maybe educational stuff . To fix all this is going to take someone's lifelong dedication . A score of thing such as the trial of some poor old German WWII veteran and the plight of Hiroshima and Nagasaki victims still bother me , just because they are unfair . I don't know what to do . Maybe it is just a phase in my life , maybe it will go away . That is what I am hoping for .
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