Aperture Science Laboratories is looking for test subjects to participate in trials of an experimental and highly classified technology. Test duties include completing tests without dying, following orders which may include the enhanced truth, and accepting cake at the end of the trial period.
Due to the classified nature of the technology, participants must stay as a test subject at Aperture Laboratories for a minimum of 10 years, starting from when the contract is signed. By reading this wanted posting, you automatically accept the contract to work at Aperture Labs. Congratulations!
To report your whereabouts, send a letter to:
Portal Dev. Dept
PO BOX 1688
Bellevue, WA 98009
"I WANT TO GET MY CAKE"
and assume the party-escort submission position.
"We do what we must because we can."
(I didn't write this, but I did think it was funny enough to share.)