Computer jokes?

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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by eoae on Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:56 am
([msg=30340]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

Here are a couple more I found at http://bash.org/. A joke a day keeps the Errors away. :D

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.


<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me


<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?


<billings> amazingly enough, putting my elbow on the keyboard isn't the proper syntax for this perl script.
<jss> No, you need both elbows.
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." - Albert Einstein
"Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us." - Leo Tolstoy
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by Defience on Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:10 pm
([msg=30357]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

:D Thanks for the laughs! I'll be that the ******* one would probably actually work on some folks!
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by godofcereal on Fri Oct 02, 2009 4:43 pm
([msg=30363]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

On 4chan, they did that to some poor guy with his social security number. They took a screenshot and posted it online. I believe thats called an epic fail.
Im off, last year of school and all, I had something longer but char limit fucked that up. So yeah, had a good run here. Thanks for the memories. Thanks to the staff and users.

Best regards, your posting whore,
godofcereal

p.s. Defience, you the man ;)
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by Dr_Phil on Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:13 pm
([msg=30383]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

http://mindprod.com/jgloss/unmain.html

I think it is very funny, not kind of a joke though. =)
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by sandsphinx on Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:31 pm
([msg=30390]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

Got some more for you all:

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.

<studdud> what the f*** is wtf

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh $hit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

(can the above one really happen?)

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
<mcm310>: what is it?
<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

<BombScare> i beat the internet
<BombScare> the end guy is hard

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dipshit

* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m


AND FOR THE REAL AMAZING ONE IVE GOT TO ASK FOR PERMISSION AS IT GOT ALOT OF EXPLICIT CONTENT, YU THINK IT WILL BE OK?
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by godofcereal on Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:17 pm
([msg=30399]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST POST I HAVE EVER READ!
Im off, last year of school and all, I had something longer but char limit fucked that up. So yeah, had a good run here. Thanks for the memories. Thanks to the staff and users.

Best regards, your posting whore,
godofcereal

p.s. Defience, you the man ;)
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by Goatboy on Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:37 pm
([msg=31071]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

Thread moved to new LULZ board. All new posts must abide by the rules. That said:

10 ways to tell if a co-worker is a hacker

10) You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.
9) He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.
8) When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
7) Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
6) Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.
5) Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net".
4) Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
3) His video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
2) When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President".
1) You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, Professor I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"

Let's not argue how accurate this is; it's funny nonetheless =)
Assume that everything I say is or could be a lie.
1UHQ15HqBRZFykqx7mKHpYroxanLjJcUk
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by ThePandaMonium on Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:30 pm
([msg=31089]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

Lmfao @ comforting music tips....
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keyb0ard jokes

Post by linuxeleven on Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:45 am
([msg=31182]see keyb0ard jokes[/msg])

{keyb0ard jokes}

why the keyb0ard cant fly ???
it has no F16

Why the keyb0ard did not get tired???
it has 2 shifts
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Re: Computer jokes?

Post by eljonto on Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:42 pm
([msg=31198]see Re: Computer jokes?[/msg])

Here's one from a jokebook i have:

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon, and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon more and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field". 'You must work in information technology' say the balloonist. "I do", replies the man, "How did you know?" "Well", says the balloonist, "Everything you've told me is technically correct, but it's of no practical use to anyone." The man below says, "You must be a corporate manager." "I am", replies the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well" says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You have the same problem you had before we met, but now it's my fault."
-Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?, Juvenal
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